The Good Kinda Pride!

Second post of the day... wow, I'm on a roll! Well, I said I would post about my boy, so here it goes! Never a better time than right now, when my heart is swelling with so much pride! Today was day 3 of his 3rd grade experience. Most of you (whoever may read this) know my son is Autistic, and some of you don't if you happened to miss that in a previous post. He is truly on the line of being typical and Autistic, also known as Asperger's. As of now, his only "delays", or as Tommy and I like to call it, "limitations", is that he is behind about a grade level in comprehension, meaning being able to read a story and accurately answer questions about it, he is still a bit socially awkward with his peers, meaning unable to initiate conversation about something or activities and a little awkward in his play with them, and finally, he still has a few sensory issues. (His hearing is super hypersensitive, meaning going to a grocery store is unbearable for him, the noises of the people talking, buggies squeaking, cash registers dinging, flourescent lights buzzing, kids crying, shoes squeaking, items dropping, phones ringing, temperatures changing, well..... you get the point... I could keep going, but basically he hears each individual thing going on around him and his only way of coping is something we like to call "stemming", an Autistic's way of handling the situation without losing his mind... similar to the compulsions an OCD sufferer would do to deal with the anxieties of their obsessions. Luckily, I've become very adept at keeping him occupied with helping me find items off the shelf which is another, more acceptable way of dealing with his anxieties. But other than those main components, he is otherwise undetectable in the spectrum of Autism.

When he began Pre-K, he was virtually misunderstood, his speech completely undecipherable. In fact, according to his therapists, at 4 1/2 years old he was on an 18 month old child's level in speech. We enrolled him into an expensive yet capable school, Stepping Stones Therapy Educational Center, that in less than one year taught him so much! He gained over a year and a half of speech! It was incredible. We kept him in Stepping Stones for his Kindergarten year, although at that time, our daughters were both here and paying the huge tuition was becoming harder. Thank God for family! After Kindergarten, our lovely state of GA passed a grant that, with the condition of being in a public school environment for one full school term under an IEP (Individualized Education Plan), will provide funds to pay for tuition to any private school of our choice until he graduates or turns 21, whichever comes first. We had a lot of praying to do! Because although we needed that grant, the thought of putting our son with diabilities into public school, with all the hype of school shootings, bombs and teachers that "don't care", was almost enough to have us reevaluating the benefit of the grant. But in the end, our monetary status had us enrolling Justin into the local public school and praying for the best! Just one year! That's all we needed and then he'd be out of there and back at Stepping Stones.

What we did NOT expect, however, was how well he did in a typical peer classroom, with limited special help, and speech therapy one hour a week. We did NOT expect to have overly-involved teachers, willing and able to hand me their personal numbers should any questions or concerns arise. We did NOT expect to fall in love with the school and teachers. And we definitely did NOT expect the HUGE gains he made from being around typical social situations. We were in shock... and most definitely in awe. And so after passing 1st grade all on his own, seeing his speech flourish, making friends, and loving every minute of it, we made the decision to keep him in just one more year. So his 2nd grade was also in public school. The special help was even more limited than before, yet the teachers and therapists that had helped him out the year prior were quick to jump in and lend a hand when needed. And we made the decision to let him ride the school bus. Scary I know! But he LOVED it! We were second guessing the idea of placing him back in Stepping Stones at all!

And then it happened. We knew one day it would, HOPED it wouldn't. He was bullied. In the bathroom. Away from teachers and any aid available. He fell, the details of said fall a bit sketchy, but fell he did, hitting his head pretty hard on the floor. Enough to make him pass out for a brief moment (his words "fell asleep"). He was on the floor crying when a student told the teacher he needed help. A phone call was made to me, I picked him up and struggled for hours to keep him awake. Afraid of a concussion, my husband came home and took him to the ER during which he vomited on several occasions. It had me in tears. A CatScan provided a bit of relief as no trauma was caused other than the swelling on the outside of his head. And immediately after he became severely ill and was out of school for 4 days. It was the answer we needed. Could've appreciated a not-so-traumatic answer, but an answer nonetheless. Justin was truly scared to go back to school, but in keeping up with correspondence with his teacher, I soon learned that the child in question was extremely sorry and very worried about Justin. I found this, if any, was a perfect time to teach my son proper social interactions. I had Justin's teacher read a book about children with Asperger's to the class, and had a question/answer session with one of his therapists with his peers in order to help them to understand why he was different and the way he is. I also read some books to my son at home, preparing him for the inevitable return. I convinced him that the best way to handle it was to ask the child if he would be his friend. (I prepared him for both answers, but PRAYED for a positive outcome.) Sure enough when Justin came home that first day back, he was happy and glad to be back in school, as the child had accepted his offer of friendship and apologized for what had happened. And then they hugged. (Go ahead, now would be the perfect time to "awwwe"). But again, that incident was enough to have us tucking tail and running. I never want my son to backtrack all the improvements he has made, or to withdraw from children because of fear. And I know the older children get, the worse it can be.


And so, my boy is back to his home school! He loves it. "It's so easy!" is his answer to me everyday now since day one when I ask him how his day was. He's in the testing mode right now, as they try to find where he is at in his grade levels with each subject. His teachers are impressed. He actually leaves his classroom to go "one-on-one" with another teacher that has been teaching him his main subjects since he is so far ahead of the others in his classroom. We were told today that he would be in the 10+yr old classroom if it wasn't completely full right now. Which is why he is receiving this additional teaching. The are tailoring his curriculum to fit his needs, which is why it's so "easy" this week. He's a doll! We even had the teacher ask us why he was in Stepping Stones, because he surely didn't need it. It is so nice to hear when you feel everywhere you turn, your child is being labeled. It is so refreshing to see that when strangers look at him, they don't see his disability, they see Justin. We are so glad he's home! Right where he belongs! And I appreciate (those of you still reading) the moment to allow me to pridefully brag about my son! I've always wanted to. ;) *Posted a pic of my handsome little man, snuggling his little sister*



Until another moment,