It was 2 weeks prior to the first day of school and we were so happy! My son, as you know, would be starting Stepping Stones courtesy of the state of GA. My daughter was accepted into Bright Star, a christian based academy. All was well. And then we get a letter in the mail. According to the state, they were postponing any additional funding towards any additional Pre-K classrooms. At first I didn't understand, but after a detailed conversation with the director of the academy, on one hand I did understand even though it meant there was a high possibility that Asilyn would not be in school this year. Basically its this; many parents are so determined to get their child into Pre-K (whether it be that they need the break, just want their child to have the early education, or that it means no more childcare payments), they will enroll their child in several facilities, in hopes of having a few to select from or just having one accept their child. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there in this arena. :) BUT the problem lies within the fact that parents stubbornly do not take their child off of any lists until after they've started at the preschool they so choose from their list of acceptances, "just in case" something happens and they needed a quick backup prior to the start of school. And because of this, you have ONE child enrolled at several facilities, which totally throws off the state funding, making them believe that there are more children enrolled in Pre-K than there really are, and then they go and fund these classrooms (enough to cover the list of applicants) and then all of a sudden after the first week of school, you have several facilities with a fraction of the children on their list actually attending, yet these facilities are receiving funding as if they have more. See the problem? Hence the reason why the state began denying funding for additional classrooms in a single facility until after they've had a "headcount" which typically happens after the first week. And this, my friends, is what happened to us.
I admit I was slightly disappointed.... ok, really disappointed. It's not that I don't love my Asi, because I so do. I just had my dreams set on spending a good 10 months alone with my baby girl Kailyn, as she has NEVER been home alone with me (with the exception of those rare occasions when daddy would take Justin and Asilyn to the store with him or when I just took Kailyn with me) and I was so looking forward to giving her that opportunity to find herself. She's always been about "being just like Asilyn", so I knew she would need this time before SHE starts school next year to just be who she wants to be. And not to mention, Justin had 4 years of just me and him, Asilyn had 2 years of just me and her (as Justin started school the year she was born), but Kailyn hasn't had a solid moment... and she needs that too!
But luckily, Asilyn's school called Friday and said it was a "go" and her first day would be Monday.... which is today. I've had to do some rearranging of my schedules, not so much timelines... as it is rushing, beating traffic and making sure Asilyn is more presentable... (ie. not just brushing her curly hair into a matte of ponytail... :)). So we still got up at 6. Still got Justin dressed and ready. And then got Asilyn ready as well. And then we were out of the driveway by 7, beat a majority of the traffic on the way to Justin's school, dropped him off at the front door, and drove safely but quickly back to Locust Grove to get Asilyn there by 8. Whew! But we made it! :) I kept asking her if she was excited... I believe that she's done with me asking that. lol Just looking at her in my rearview, so grown-up like... hands crossed in her lap, quietly gazing out the window, and all I can wonder is what is going through her mind. Is she scared? Nervous? Timid? Is she excited? Ready? Rethinking the whole situation like I am and thinking it may just be better for her to stay home with me and be homeschooled and enjoy life in a shelter of her mothers love and never have to worry about bullies, boys or mean teachers? Ok, so maybe the last one was more my thinking but, ya know... ITS MY BABY! And she's.... not a baby anymore! Do you know how sad that is?? When all you wanted in life was to have children, raise them, watch them grow... having moments in the infancy of not being able to "wait" til they do this or do that.... and yet... here it is, the moment you've been waiting for and everything inside of you is screaming No!!! and wanting the world to just stop spinning for a moment so you can catch your breath and memorize every ounce of baby fat, every cute mispronounced word... and yet, time just continues to pass...
Anyway, I dropped my daughter off in the hands of women I've never met in my life, watched as my shy little 4 year old timidly walks across the room to join children she's never met in her life... and tried to keep a brilliant smile on my face just in case she looked back for guidance, approval, assurance from my face. But she never did. My brave little girl joined with eyes wide open, never looking back... she didn't need me. Siiiiiiiiiiigh! And now I find myself anxiously waiting for 2:30 to come around so I can pick her up, hug her, kiss her, tell her how much I missed her, and hear all about how her first day at school was. Both Kailyn and I have been wandering around this house, looking for things to do. I've done laundry, I've done dishes, I've cleaned rooms... Kailyn's watched HER shows, played with an extension cord, played with me, tried to potty a few times, and asked "can we pick up Asilyn now?" at 10 oclock in the morning. :) We're lost without her. LOL I'm sure it will get easier... I know it will because I felt this way with Justin as well. And because I had a brand new baby Asilyn to tend to, it got easier as my responsibilities became larger. Yet what am I supposed to do when Kailyn goes... then I'll have nothing... an empty house, a clean empty house, but an empty house. :) Ahhh... I have a year before I have to fret about that. For now, I have Kailyn. ;) With that, I'm going. She's eating her lunch by herself for the first time in her entire life, and I think I should be there to keep her company. Now on to some pictures... I wish I could post them all...
Until another moment,
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